when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
