Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
