Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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