I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
