I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
