hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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