im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
