are you so shy because you have an std?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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