mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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