i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize