Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
