conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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