ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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