I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
