Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
