We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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