Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
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