recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
