you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i drank out of a bidet.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
