Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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