she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
