i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
