why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
