Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
