If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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