Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
