I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
