I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Everything about him screamed your future.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
