wakey wakey hands off snakey
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
