It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
