Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
its liver damage thursday
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
