I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize