Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
