The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
