Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
