a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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