gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
