please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
this beer tastes like vomit already
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
