Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
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