whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
