READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
