I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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