yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
