You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
