She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I look better un-naked...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
