yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
How does it feel to date your dad?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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