we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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