I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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