So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
