also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
