I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
