i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
