wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Randomize
