Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
