btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
