it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
