I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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