Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
