i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
