"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize