I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Randomize
